


Sandwich

by izurukamukurapudding



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, kind of, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27944396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izurukamukurapudding/pseuds/izurukamukurapudding
Summary: Shuichi has some bad eating habits. Kokichi knows.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 91





	Sandwich

**Author's Note:**

> *dumps my problems onto Shuichi in one sitting via the notes app and never looks back* hehe sure do hope there’s no mistakes here
> 
> (also why does nobody talk about how Shu said he usually skips breakfast?? Hello????)

Shuichi laid on his and Kokichi’s bed, scrolling through his phone.  
It was the weekend, and usually he and his boyfriend would be spending time together. And while Shuichi would love that, he had to stay away, because Kokichi would notice his eating habits and make him eat. So he told his boyfriend that he was too socially drained to do anything this weekend. Guilt gnawed at him, but he knew what he needed to do. He took up so much /space./ He was disgusting and squishy, his hips were plush and round and his chest.... Ew. If he lost weight, as much as he could, then it’d go away. He’d look less like a girl. He would take up less space and be prettier and less feminine but still cute. It wasn’t like it was /dangerous,/ just skipping meals here and there. He wasn’t a dangerous weight, either, a healthy 124 pounds. So it wasn’t like he was destroying himself or anything.  
Recently, though, he’d just been feeling worse. He weighed himself and he’d gone up a pound. It almost made him cry, to be honest, even if it mattered more how he looked than how much he weighed. He was just so big and gross and he didn’t have self control and thats why he gained. Because he was bad. So naturally he decided on eating as little as he could get away with until he lost at least 3 more. Which is what led to him laying on their bed, on his phone during a Sunday, instead of spending time with his boyfriend. The emptiness in his stomach was rewarding, not painful, a comfortable feeling reminding him what he was doing was good. Every gurgle let him know he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. A warm comfort in his gut, encouraging him, telling him to keep going. As long as it took to get smaller. To get rid of the squish on his stomach and hips and chest. Especially on his chest.  
Shuichi heard the bedroom door open, lazily lifting his head to look for Kokichi.  
“Hey, Kokichi.” Came his greeting, a soft smile on his face. He loved his boyfriend dearly, which was why the short male couldn’t find out his secret.  
“Hi Shumaiii~!” Kokichi replied, cheery and obnoxious, as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s about dinner time, you know, and I haven’t seen my beloved out of his room for anything other than bathroom breaks.” He pouted. “Now, I have to take care of my precious Shu-Shu. So-“  
“‘M not hungry, thanks, though.” Shuichi interrupted with an ounce of panic. He wasn’t hungry, in the sense he didn’t want to eat, so it wasn’t like he was lying. Kokichi wouldn’t catch on.  
However, when Kokichi dropped his grin and childish persona, replacing it with his near blank-slate of a face, cold and analytical, Shuichi knew he was in for it. Kokichi only ever did that when it was something serious or important.  
“I haven’t seen you eat in two days.” Shuichi shied from the eye contact, feeling a purple gaze drag across him. “I don’t know if it’s because you’re stressed, or something more, but you need to eat. At least once a day. I’m not letting you go three days without anything to eat. I tried to let it go yesterday and Friday but three days in a row is too much. So just tell me what you want, okay?” The playful smile returned a tiny bit. “Or I’m going to make you eat a billion sardines! What’ll it be, Shu-i-chi?”  
Shuichi squirmed a little under the scrutiny. He’d been caught, of course he had. Even the playful remark had seriousness hidden underneath. Kokichi never used his name alone, even in such a sing-songy tone, unless he was upset.  
“I said I’m not really hungry...” He mumbled, pulling at his sleeve. “I don’t feel good.” Which wasn’t a lie either. He didn’t feel good enough emotionally to eat. If he was forced to, he’d probably start crying, and that would definitely expose his secret.  
Kokichi’s obvious suspicion grew. Shuichi could see it written all over his face.  
“Yes you are. You haven’t eaten in days. You’re going to eat whether or not you want to, I don’t want to watch you waste away because of... whatever it is you’re struggling with.” That was good. At least he didn’t know. “You.. do know that you can talk to me about it, right? I know I act annoying sometimes but you’ve always come to me about serious issues. So I don’t know what makes this time different...” Kokichi almost sounded like he was thinking out loud, trying to figure out the aversion to food. “Is a sandwich good? Peanut butter and jelly. Nothing too heavy. I’d give you just fruit, since I know you like it, but that’s not sustainable enough.”  
Shuichi knew it was a bad idea to argue anymore. Kokichi was onto him, and he could almost cry with the guilt. He was keeping secrets, hiding things, the one thing they promised between them that they wouldn’t do. He was /breaking promises./ Swallowing back tears, he gave a weak nod. “S-Sure... Some water, too, if thats okay?” It wasn’t okay. It was so much sugar and fat and it was /so much food/ and... ew. Ew. Ew.  
The smile returned to Kokichi’s face after another beat of thought. “Okie-dokie! Anything for my beloved.” The smaller boy skipped off, grin and all. Shuichi wanted to start bawling. Not only was he selfish for hiding from Kokichi, he was disgusting and big and had no self control. Slowly, he sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and taking a deep breath. It was fine. Kokichi didn’t know, he was keeping a secret and breaking his promise, he was eating when he said he wouldn’t, that was /fine./  
Soon enough, Kokichi was back with a plate in hand and water bottle in other. He set the plate down on the bed and sat down beside it, tossing the water bottle into Shuichi’s lap. They stared at eachother a beat before Shuichi spoke.  
“Uh... Thank you...” He said, with a nervous tint. Why was Kokichi just... sitting there?  
“C’mon, Shuichi, eat.” Why did he have to say that so deadpan?  
“Are you just gonna... sit here and watch? You know I don’t like being stared at.” This was inconvenient, considering Shuichi was planning to put the sandwich in his bedside table and wait until Kokichi was gone to toss it out. He could have just drank the water.  
“Yessir! Somethings up, I can smell trouble from a mile away. I know you don’t like being watched but I hate watching my Shuichi hurt himself more. So I’ll sit here until you eat, or fess up, or both. Secrets don’t make friends.”  
And that was the last straw. Tears sprung up to his eyes, and he pressed his sleeve onto one eye. He couldn’t cry, he /couldn’t./  
“S-Sorry...” Shuichi mumbled, staring disdainfully down at the sandwich. “I don’t th-think I can... I don’t want to hurt you o-or break our promise but I just /can’t./“ His voice wavered, shattering.  
“Sh, sh, it’s okay, Shuichi. You know I just worry about you...” Kokichi spoke gently, grabbing one of Shuichi’s hands and holding it in his own. “I think I know what’s going on now... But, it’s up to you to tell me, okay? Take your time. I love you.”  
Shuichi nodded, muttering an “I love you too..” back. He couldn’t tell Kokichi, not even if he already knew, not even if it hurt him or if it broke their promise or anything. Because he was being a burden, and this wasn’t his boyfriend’s issue to handle, and even if it was he knew Kokichi would try to make him eat more and the thought almost made him start sobbing. He was disgusting as he was, took up too much space. “I-I don’t want to say... why..”  
“Do you want me to go ahead and tell you what I think..? Would that make it easier for you, honey?” Kokichi asked, rubbing his finger against Shuichi’s knuckle. He gave a meek nod.  
“Well, I think you might have an eating disorder, sweetheart. Eating scares you, is that it?” Kokichi only ever used so many petnames when he knew Shuichi was upset. Kokichi cared so much and he was just /hurting/ him. He nodded again.  
“Shh.. It’s okay, Shuichi. One of the members of DICE struggled too, and so have I, in the past. It’s alright, honey, you don’t need to worry. I’m not going to make you do anything too bad.” Kokichi scooted over on the bed, next to Shuichi, and drew him into a hug. Shuichi nodded into the boy’s shoulder, gripping onto his shirt. The warmth was nice.  
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t m-mean to bring up anything old...” Shuichi pulled himself closer. He was so, so annoying, wasn’t he? Making Kokichi worry and remember things he probably didn’t want to remember.  
“No, no, it’s okay... Don’t worry... I just wanted you to know I understand, to an extent. It’s alright. You’re okay, I’m not upset. I just want the best for my boyfriend, okay?” Kokichi rubbed circles into his back, repeating reassurance after reassurance.  
“‘M sorry-“  
“You don’t need to apologize.. keep going.”  
“I-I just feel so icky... and, it’s so much food, and... I’d feel bad wasting it... I-It’s not like I’m /dying/ or anything, th-three days can’t hurt too much...” Shuichi felt terrible asking Kokichi to let him starve himself, but he didn’t know if he could bring himself to eat.  
“No, no.. I know it’s hard, but, three days is when your body starts to eat away at fat and you don’t have a lot of that to spare, Shuichi. Would it be easier if I cut it into smaller pieces? You could just eat half, but...”  
“.. I-I’ll try, I guess...” He didn’t /want/ to try. “If it makes you happy, then...”  
“I don’t want you to only do it for me, but this is a start, okay? I’m so proud of you for considering it. You’re doing so good already.”  
Shuichi nodded. He still felt disgusting and vile but at least Kokichi was happy. Maybe it would be fine, just for today. Just this once.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you’re wondering he eats the entire sandwich and Kokichi almost explodes with the accomplishment


End file.
